Thursday, January 8, 2009

Quite the Scare

Poor Graham has been having these TERRIBLE nasty coughing spells and last night while I was in the bedroom blogging, Chad and Graham were in the living room. Chad was finishing up eating his dinner and Graham was lying on the floor playing. Graham started coughing really bad and then I hear Chad screaming. I don't think ever in my life I have ran so fast. By the time I got there, Chad had Graham laying on his arm, belly down, and was patting him on the back and Graham started projectile vomiting. Oh it was so terrible. I have never been so scared in my life. Graham was coughing so hard and was choking on all of the phlegm that was coming up out of his chest. Chad and I were shaking so hard and we were on the floor holding him and crying. But as soon as Graham threw up, he looked at us like, "Hey Mommy and Daddy! What's up? Why's everyone so upset??" It was actually kinda funny.

Laying in bed last night I couldn't stop thinking about what if? What if something would have happened to him? What if we would have lost him? I honestly don't think I could go on living. My life would be over. I have never loved so fully and so wholeheartedly ever in my life. He is my everything. My life. My true love. My heart and soul. I feel so terrible for any parent that has lost their child. No parent should ever have to go through that. I'm now to the point to where I hope he lives with us til we are no longer on this earth. I am going to shelter this little boy and not let him out of my sight if I don't have to. That's that. I am going to be a crazy possessive mother and no girl will ever be good enough for him. I am ever more neurotic than I have ever been. Done. :)

Graham has been doing better today. A little. Chad stayed home with him all day so Graham could get in a full day of breathing treatments. Our poor baby HATES it. He cries and fights it and I feel terrible because it sounds like he is suffocating. :( I wish I could take all of this sickness away and give it to myself. It just kills me to know that he is sick.

Please keep praying for our lil baby and that he will recover from all of this soon.

1 comment:

Amy, David and Caroline said...

What an awesome blog entry!! I am sitting here in tears. But, I feel exactly the same way!! Noone should ever have to lose their baby whether they are 4-months or 40. It was so random last night, but I told David that when Caroline is old enough for a sleepover, she isn't going unless I am best friends with the parents. It scares me to death. I know it is years away, but as a mom, I think it is normal to have those feelings. Give Chad a super big hug for jumping in and taking great care of his precious little boy!! Okay, Graham please get better soon, Caroline really wants to play soon. They can even eat dinner together now :)